i read the post on ranwa's blog and realized that despite the fact that i feel really old and tend to be cynical, i do tend to feel that these are some of the best days of my life, perhaps it's because i'm much more self-assured now than i was in middle school, and though i'm not as carefree as i was in elementary school, i love my cares, i love the things i do, the people i worry about. i appreciate even my sadness and occassionally pain because i feel lucky to know people who i care about enough to miss, to worry about, to consider their wellbeing with sincerity. the only thing i ever disliked was regret, i hope to never regret things, i wish i had no regrets, but in all honesty i don't know if i'd ever wish to retain the naivete and innocence of my elementary school years. perhaps it's because i wasn't much more deluded than i am now, i maintained similar cynicism, and had a similar understanding of the workings of the world. however i feel as though it's better now; when i was really young my mother taught me the evils of people and i suppose that now it's easier for me to deal with, i don't hurt people for the sake of a defense mechanism, i have become more constructive in terms of my defenses to people even if i'm only slightly more aware of human nature. thus i feel like my elementary school years went by too quickly, but i'd never go back because i feel like it's better to attempt enlightenment and feel some sadness or pain than to wait for an epiphany in deluded bliss. cheers everyone. carpe diem. love, jill

LIFE ROCKS!!!!! in my enthusiasm i suppose i lost my eloquence, however, i feel as though that statement properly encompasses how i feel. last night was awesome, just hanging out with my family listening to soca and chutney songs in hindi : )! squee! my dad is awesome, and my mom, though she was cleaning into the morning while my dad was cooking for her, oh wow, all i can say is that i love my family even when i can't stand them they're...well, they're beautiful people. hm, i wish i could talk to alanna more, i feel like i don't show her i appreciate her enough, she is the best friend anyone could ask for, she complements me perfectly she knows me better than anyone and she gives excellent advice, she keeps me from doing things i'll regret and never says 'i told u so' even when she's perfectly entitled to, and i can't wait till we take mexico by storm. ; ) ooooh yesterday ranwa called me and though i discussed quitting drama just hearing from ranwa makes me smile and contributes to my general happiness. well, i'm at work so i should go...work...or something, but i'm so happy with life right now, wish the summer never had to end! LOVE Y'ALL! (especially alanna)