heehee, nothing like clamoring from the back seat... : ) today was good, not great nor spectacular, but good, and i am seriously looking forward to the matinee tomorrow, i love performances. though i can see i'm not going to be able to attend prom, i am still looking forward to ranwa having a date, and chita and dena and sharon and everyone else too! on another note, i think i scared Karina today, you know how that key lime soda does crazy things to me, actually i think i was scaring her even before that heehee. the new commercial is hilariously funny, for hello dolly, though julius west spells it hello doody how very strange. anyhow i have piano and voice lessons tonight, i'm feeling excited though i'm losing my voice. i'll ttyl love y'all madly

today i felt as if i was drowning, i'm not sure in what exactly but i feel as though i could easily fail out of IB by the end of this year, and that does not thrill me in the least, i was sick today and horribly fatigued.i feel as though i'm terribly behind on everything i need to do and i don't appreciate that feeling, it is as if i cannot salvage my life and i feel it closing in around me, never a good feeling. it's rather pathetic how easily i get depressed, and i suppose it's all quite superficial considering as soon as i can find someone who loves me or something to live for, my mood transcends all normal happiness and i begin to live again, to genuinely smile again. i wonder if i'm abnormal for being so out of rhythm with life, drama throws me off. i try to balance what i need to do and what i don't, but yet it seems to fail miserably as i still cannot save my chemistry grade and the quarter has just started. i hold out hope that spring break will be beautiful that i can sleep in, and become social as i become my happy, bubbly self again, i can recover all the things i've lost, both literally and figuratively and perhaps when i return to school i shall be happy to immerse my self once again in learning. interesting how i view immersion differently from drowning. the one thing that always scared me the most was being buried alive, and i feel as though that is what is happening now, i wish there was some clear light to keep me connected with the real world, some ideal to strive for, some event to plan for. all my senior friends have prom and college and things of that nature, but i have neither and that saddens me...*sigh* i can't revel in my pathetic nature despite my best efforts, somewhat amusing how my best efforts tend not to be satisfactory.