oooooooooooooooooh! i almost forgot, thanks to everybody who got me gifts they were absolutely amazing....amazingly splediforously gorgeously wonderful! i have sooooo much bath bubbles, lotion and cream and body wash and body spray, i'm gonna be the best smelling person on the east coast : ) and stephen got me pearls, i still maintain that he hates me, but damn that's nice! who wants to go shopping, i've got gift cards to spend : ) heeheeheeehee *giggles* and i got purses and omg omg omg, it was just wonderful, and ppl are making me more stuff and just meep! i'm excited. my party was great fun, and i'm suddenly out of my funky depression, and my daddy gave me this cd that has one of my favorite songs in the entire world on it, he got it shipped from europe, oooh my daddy's awesome! and i got movie passes and books and dvds and *squeals* doesn't get much better than this...but yet it does...cuz i'm getting more stuff later this week. ahahaha! i'm happy, i'm happy as a clam, well kinda, i think if i ignore the fact that i lost a friend, i'll be fine right? ooh and ersin called me randomly out of the blue, it was cool to get to talk to him again y'kno? i miss not talking to people, plus ersin makes me laugh uncontrollably, oooh christina gave me a book of the best lawyer jokes ever, she says if i wanna be an attorney i should know all the jokes ppl are gonna make about me : ). i actually felt like i looked pretty last night, which was a refreshing change y'kno? *sigh* i'm gloriously happy right now, i'll just ignore anything sucky in life and everything'll be fine.....yeeehaw! and ranwa, i am not hot compared to a cow, i think my cow might be hotter than me....isn't that sad? oh well, life's good, and i'm 16 so yay! i forgot to tell y'all i wuv you in my last entry, so i luv y'all in case you've forgotten : )

*sigh* it's my birthday today, just in case some of y'all forgot about it. as birthday's go it wasn't horrendous, i had fun at my party last night and i got presents and stuff....yay....sorry i sound so depressed but for some reason, i really ought to stop letting people control me, like at christmas. heh, nick doesn't read my blog so thus i can talk about how absolutely miserable it makes me that he totally dessimated our friendship for the sake of maddie. i don't have a problem with maddie or nick, or that fact that they want to be together for the rest of their lives, i have a probelm with the fact that i can no longer be involved in either of their lives because it makes me fucking miserable. what makes me even more angry is that nick doesn't fucking care, *and* he's a pathogical liar, and being the masochist that i am, i subject myself to people who treat me like shit....on my birthday....intentionally, what the hell is up with that? i mean that's sooooo wrong, sooooooo wrong. i don't have anything against maddie, i really and truly don't, but does she intentionally talk about spending the rest of her life with nick to rub it in my face that he choose their relationship over our friendhsip? ah whatev, at least i've got bubble bath